


She's happy for him (but not really)

by olivemartini



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mentioned Stalia, Sad Lydia, Stydia, don't know how to tag, kind of angst, sort of unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:29:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemartini/pseuds/olivemartini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia was happy for Stiles.   She wasn't jealous.  Not at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She's happy for him (but not really)

Lydia was happy for Stiles.

She was happy that he had someone to take care of, someone who he could be strong for.  She was happy that he had a hand to hold that could anchor him to the ground, that he had someone who was willing to hold him at night when the nightmares got to be too much.  She was happy that when he was out playing lacrosse, he could count on being able to turn and see someone he loved cheering from the stands.  She was happy that he was getting the chance to be content with someone, instead of having his heart stomped on by someone like herself. 

Lydia hadn't expected Stiles to wait on her forever.  She knew that he had other options, and she also knew that there would come a time when he would start to notice them.  But she just hadn't expected that other option to arrive in the form of Malia Tate.

It's not that Malia's bad.  All things considered, she's a pretty wonderful person.  But she hadn't expected to be kicked out of Stiles' heart so quickly, and in favor of this girl- the one who spent her childhood as a coyote, who often makes comments that don't make sense, the one who doesn't understand Stiles like Lydia does. 

But still, Lydia was happy for Stiles.

It had become her mantra, repeated over and over, like saying it would somehow make it feel like the truth.  And yet, there was still the sour taste in her mouth when she sees them together, this idea that she would somehow be better.  She couldn't help the exasperated sighs and eye rolls that seemed to ooze from her whenever they were around.  She couldn't help the remarks that fly from her lips before she could bite them back, or the way she has to turn and walk the other way when she sees them together. 

She was okay with it, though.  She was okay with Stiles finding someone new to love.  There were times, though, when it seemed like he was the one performing the charade.

Like right now, when she was crying into his arms, and she had lost track of who was the one protecting who, because it seemed like they were both holding each with equal support. She can feel his hand tangled up in her hair, and the other wrapped tight around her waist, and she thinks about how good it feels to be held, for once, to admit she was weak.  She could feel his breathing, uneven and ragged like he had just ran a mile, and feel the way his fingers shook when he went to brush the hair away from her face.

It is these times -when they are forced to look deep into each others eye to find the truth they need to hear but neither will say, when she is sure they were both remembering the one kiss they shared and wishing it had turned into two, when they are collapsing in on each other and unable to stand on their own- that she thinks that he hasn't stopped loving her, after all.  Perhaps all Malia is to him is someone to take care of. (Because he doesn't seem to realize it, but that's all he does.  He takes care of the ones he loves, holding onto them tighter no matter how bad it hurts him in return.) 

It's the hope that hurts.

Maybe it's not that she's isn't happy for Stiles.  Maybe it's that she herself can't be happy without him.


End file.
